Trained to Be Beautiful, Not Wifeable: How Social Media and Western Ideologies Are Destroying Christian Marriages
Being trained to be beautiful, not wifeable is wrecking Christian marriages. Learn how social media and Western ideologies fuel this crisis.
“She mastered the art of selfies… but never learned the science of sacrifice.”
In today’s postmodern church, a dangerous shift has happened quietly but destructively. Many daughters of Zion are being raised by social media, not Scripture… by trends, not truth. They’ve mastered filters and hashtags but never been trained to sacrifice, endure, or build.
We’ve drifted from the Proverbs 31 woman to the Instagram “baddie.”
Our young women have swapped virtue for vanity… and we, the church, stood by watching.
Beauty Without Character: A Recipe for Heartbreak
In the good old days, Christian ladies didn’t choose husbands by the size of their pockets. They prayed, waited on God, and sought His will.
Today, many are guided by materialism instead of the Spirit. Their eyes are fixed on the man’s wallet, house, or car. They want an already-made man, forgetting that only God’s will sustains a marriage.
That’s why so many end up in broken marriages. They entered without spiritual covering, and when the storm came, they had no anchor.
Proverbs 19:14 (KJV) reminds us:
“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
A Real Story: A Marriage Destroyed by Social Media Addiction
A brother I know went through this painful experience. His wife was always online — day and night. Even while he slept, she would be glued to social media, chatting, scrolling, and posting.
At first, he tried correcting her lovingly, but she brushed it off. She kept arguing with him, bringing up Western ideologies about marriage being “50:50” and demanding her own way.
Their home became a battlefield. Quarrels replaced peace. Prayer was silenced. Intimacy died.
Eventually, the brother could not handle it anymore. She refused to change, refused to prioritize her marriage over social media, and finally divorced him.
This is not just a marriage problem — it’s a spiritual problem. The devil uses unchecked addictions, worldly ideologies, and vanity to destroy Christian homes and ministries.
The Nigerian Reality: Western Ideologies Are Crashing Homes
Social media has made many Nigerian women live as if they are in the USA. They import Western ideologies into marriages and clash with biblical and cultural values.
- Some wives insist marriage must be “50:50.”
- Others prioritize online life over family devotion, intimacy, and rest.
- Many argue endlessly, not from Scripture, but from what they read online.
This culture clash is tearing families apart. A Nigerian husband with biblical convictions cannot live peacefully with a wife obsessed with Westernized views of marriage.
Proverbs 31: God’s Timeless Blueprint for a Wife
The Proverbs 31 woman is the eternal model of a kingdom wife.
She wasn’t just beautiful — she was:
- Profitable: “She seeks wool and flax, and works willingly with her hands.” — Proverbs 31:13
- Industrious: “She perceives that her merchandise is good; her lamp does not go out by night.” — Proverbs 31:18
- Honourable: “Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.” — Proverbs 31:25
Her husband praised her not for beauty alone but for her wisdom, labour, and resourcefulness.
Practical Solutions: How to Build Lasting Marriages in the Social Media Age
To resist this silent crisis, here are solutions every believer can apply:
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Set Social Media Boundaries
- Define “no-phone” hours (during meals, devotion, before bedtime).
- Track and limit daily usage with apps.
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Build Face-to-Face Intimacy
- Prioritize conversation, laughter, and prayer with your spouse over endless scrolling.
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Guard Against Comparison
- Remember, Instagram highlights are staged. Stop comparing your marriage to online illusions.
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Agree on Online Boundaries
- Avoid secret chats or likes that breed suspicion. Be transparent.
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Serve Together in God’s House
- When you build God’s kingdom as a couple, worldly distractions lose their grip.
A Call to Parents: Raise Daughters of Substance
Parents, stop raising daughters to be liabilities. Raise women of virtue, diligence, and godly wisdom. Teach them:
- The dignity of labour.
- The beauty of modesty.
- The strength of virtue.
Proverbs 22:6 commands:
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Trained to Be Beautiful, Not Wifeable
The crisis of being trained to be beautiful, not wifeable is destroying Christian marriages — especially in Nigeria, where social media and Western ideologies clash with biblical foundations.
But there is hope. By returning to the Proverbs 31 model, setting boundaries in the digital age, and raising daughters of virtue, we can secure marriages that last and ministries that flourish.
Remember: Beauty fades, selfies vanish, but wisdom, virtue, and godliness endure for generations.
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